Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
