gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
false alarm. still invincible.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
