Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
