I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
