my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
