i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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