i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
