you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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