Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
