That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize