Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
