I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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