Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize