2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
