I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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