I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Rumble strips road head = magical
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
