Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize