Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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