I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
be right there i have to get my cape
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
