My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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