I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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