did you get engaged???
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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