you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
