nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
