He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
