just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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