I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
