Sponge bath it is.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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