you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
