Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
