i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
