took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
