I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
