I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
