I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
