my vag is so smooth its legendary
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
