Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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