so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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