I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
