You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
