I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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