these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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