oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
