wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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