How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
