I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
