I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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