I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
