quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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