My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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