How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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