i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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