I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
