i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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