I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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