I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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