woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize