I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize
