its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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