This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
