That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
